Monday, November 23, 2009

Its so easy to over react...

Especially when its your babies.

so heres the scoop...Cole went for his 18 month well check and just like always he was healthy and happy as can be and then Dr.R asked (as always) "any concerns you have??" and as ALWAYS I said "Is he talking enough??"

Every well check since his 9 month check I have asked this. I ask because (not to brag by any means) Konnor was literally speaking in full sentances by 10 months, so it is really hard to know what is typical. Every time Dr. R assures me that cole is indeed fine, and that I just have a very high standard that I am holding him to.

When I asked at this past visit, he said "Steph, I honestly think he is still ok. " and I said, "OK, well I just wanted to ask because the nurse did the checklist and asked if he was putting 2 words together, and he isnt" so we of course had a discussion about it, and basically long story short, he gave me the phone number to "first steps" early intervention, and said "you are his mom, and you are entitled to do whatever you want. I am not overly concerned yet, but if you are you can always call them and have an assesment done." and then asked if he was saying ANY two words together, like "No, mama" or "bye dada" and he is not. SO he said watch him for about two more months and work with him, and ny feb or so if he isnt, then it wouldnt hurt to call and just have then come over and asses him. He said even then it may be no big deal, but of course now my mommy brain is going crazy. I just feel bad for him and I KNOW that alot of kids have an issue with speech, but there is that inevitable mommy guilt. Do I not read to him enough, did I not give him as much attention as I did konnor, etc. I could cry as I type because as him mom I know I am SO blessed that he is healty and he is the happiest littleboy ever. But then I see him and watch him and I just FEEL like he is struggling. I always hae felt it. alot of people say its just because he is the baby, and it may be. I just know that he has trouble saying ANYTHING, and while its not a major health issue, I still know that communication is what gets you through in life and I just dont want my sweet boy to struggle, or especially, be judged. =( I have no clue anymore if it IS my mommy instinct or if it is my worrying side....SO I will just do what Dr.R said and wait a few more months. and I guess If EI does come out and asses, it may still be just to ease my mind......anyway, I know that was long. Just mainly a vent for me. Hopefully some of you will have an experience with EI or somthing similar. I will keep you all posted. If ya made it this far thanks for reading!!!!


London said...

I hope this eases your mind a bit, but Batman didn't talk AT ALL until he was two. Seriously, barely a word. I was thisclose to getting worried when he turned two. Suddenly he was talking up a storm. I think it's harder when you've already had one who was an early talker (my nephew talked really early to). I'm sure he's fine!

connie said...

I want you to know that I am in the same boat as you. TJ is almost a year now and says dadda, and occasionally momma and although he bables alot no other real words yet. Kenzie was talking up a storm by this time. I have read boys talk later, everyone tells me to relax and I can't. I will wait because he is too young for early intervention but my mommy instincts tell me something is up. Follow your heart, you are a great mommy and whatever you decide will be right.

LauraC said...

Hey email me on this one if you want to. Alex was ALWAYS on the margin of speech delays bc the boys were premature. It is so common in the twin world, particularly with preemie boys that we knew to look for it as soon as he showed signs of having feeding problems in the NICU.

Anyway, the milestone at 12 months is 5 words other than mom or dad. Any noise that represents a word counts. The milestone at 18 months is 15 words other than mom or dad. Alex LITERALLY hit the milestone the week before the appt.

Starting at 12 months, the ped had us write down every word we heard him say every day. I just kept a calendar and each day I would write down what he said. Over time, I noticed he would get a new word, use it for a week then stop using it. So he technically had 15 words total but he didn't use them all the time.

The other thing is that EI is free until age 3 and the earlier you get started with speech assessment, the better. You can request it at any time so if you woke up feeling like he needs to be seen, start the appt process now. They will come to your house, run tests, and tell you whether or not he is delayed and whether he qualifies for services.

And please don't blame yourself! Nate and Alex were born at the same time, raised in the same environment. Nate is BIG talker, Alex is not. But Alex was an early crawler and walker. Each kid has their own strengths. Hard to say to not worry because I know you will but you are being a GREAT MOM by pushing the doc and getting the help he may need BEFORE it becomes a problem.

Jennifer said...

Steph, I am right there with you! I have been worried about Ian's speech and have brought it up at each well child visit too. Eli was also a very early talker and I hate that I am comparing my boys, but it is hard not to do! Our doctor also said that I can contact our early access, but he thinks that I could wait also. I, being an early childhood teacher, know that the earlier the intervention, the better. I do lots of talking with Ian, pointing to things and naming them, singing, reading, signing, etc. I have spoken with the speech language pathologist that I work with and she assures me that I am doing what I need to be doing, but that I can refer if I choose to. I have decided to wait until 18 months. I will ask for an evaluation then if I feel that I need to. An evaluation won't hurt anyone and will set my mind at ease if I still have concerns. Right now Ian only says hat and hot. He says mama and dada, but not necessarily in reference to us. So, after all of this, I am just saying trust your instincts and I know how you feel!

*Kc* said...

Hey girl! Sorry I lost your blog for a while.

My old posts are showing up because I made it public again bc I wanted to do comparison posts with the posts from last christmas etc.. :)! Hopefully noone will stalk me bc of it. haha!

About the talking, I think every kiddo learns at their own pace. Especially younger siblings because their older siblings talk for them. Ya know? I know how easy it is to stress about things though. Hope you get it figured out.

*Kc* said...

btw, I didn't even think to worry about Carrah yet. She says a few Duck, QuackQuack, Ball, Bite, Shoes{only I can understand}, Daddy, and CoCo{neighbors dog} Cami could almsot talk in sentences by now, but i've always thought she was just advanced maybe?..