Monday, April 27, 2009

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers...

Just a quick reminder:
Wal-Mart is a family friendly grocery store. We appreciate holding off on your dating quests, pick up lines, and any activity that may lead to the conception of a child. To the happy couple in Isle 5. Please control youreselves. Its is very uncomfortable for mothers and children to witness your mating foreplay. One should not have to scurry past the peanut butter shielding their childs eyes and hoping not to get hit with a bodily fluid. Thats rediculous....
And, shoppers...it is not acceptable on a monday morning at seven AM, to practice your bar-etiquite. Although you may be feeling like a stud in your oh, so attractive "holey shirt" complete with pit stains, the milk freezer is not really where folks plan on meeting a date. YES, a wedding ring does indeed indicate that one is married, and YES the beautiful children in the cart are the product of the "lucky guy" who put the ring on that finger. Oh, yes, and the ever so flattering "wink and nod" will only get you a wierd look, not a date with me...ER...fellow shoppers. Thanks though.
So anyway, shoppers. One more reminder...Please also take note: It really scares the PEANUTS out of other shoppers when you stand two feet behind them in the parking lot waiting for them to get their kids buckled. Most people do not like standing up and turning around to a stranger right on their behind...Just saying.
So, loyal shoppers, thank you for your time, and have a wonderful shopping experience.

5 comments:

London said...

Hilarious! I hate Wal-Mart, for so many reasons...

Kara said...

lol

Karla said...

LOL

Kaycee said...

Holy cow!! LOL! I bet you never go back to Wal Mart at 7am huh? Ha!

H_R_03 said...

ohh wow all that at 7am! that is creepy about the person standing behind you! glad we dont have a walmart here lol